


If you told me you were drowning

by doctorziegler



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Car Sex, Consensual Kink, Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk, Drabble, Drunk Driving, Drunkenness, Established Relationship, Light BDSM, M/M, Piss, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Urination, Watersports, piss drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-07 19:47:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11630637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctorziegler/pseuds/doctorziegler
Summary: In Joseph's defense, hedidask Robert to pull over at a gas station, long before the urge got quite so bad.





	If you told me you were drowning

"Robert, I'm _serious_ ," Joseph hissed, squeezing his legs shut so tightly that Robert swore his knees would bruise from the applied pressure. "If you don't pull over in the next five minutes, I _will_ piss in your truck, full-stop. And, at this point? I probably won't even feel bad about it; it'll be your fault, if no air freshener on God's green Earth, no matter _how_ minty-fresh, can get the stench of urine out of your interior." 

From the driver's seat, Robert snorted, drumming fingers on his leather-clad steering wheel, trying to focus on the radio's dulcet tones of classic rock, and _not_ on Joseph's insistent complaints.

If there was one thing 'Cool Youth Minister'-slash-'Resident Neighborhood Blond Bombshell' Joseph Christiansen was gifted at, though, it was being utterly im _possible_ to ignore, even at the best of times. Damn supermodel-looking _bastard_. Or― wait, would that be considered the _worst_ of times, instead?

 _Hell_. Robert was apparently already too damn drunk to even remember basic grammar; how was he _driving_?  _Keep it up, Robbie-boy, you ol' charmer, and you'll be getting your dick wet before you know it._

Maybe he _should_ pull over― "Don't blame _me_ for your pea-sized bladder, Joe," Robert said with a dismissive, nonchalant single-shoulder shrug, his mouth only interested in doing its own thing, reason and decency be damned. "We'll be at the campsite in, what, _five_ more minutes? Just― fuck, can't you just hold it 'til then? Christ. Be a big, grown-up boy, for once― for me."

It was Joseph's turn to snort, twisting onto his hip, his seat belt long since a thing of the past as he trained his eyes on Robert, hard.

"You want me to be a 'big boy'― is that it?" Joseph sounded like he was caught somewhere between offended and flirtatious, which, truth be told, was probably _exactly_ how he felt, if he and Robert's usual interactions were to be taken into consideration. "You want me to try my hardest not to wet myself in front of you, huh? Is _that_ what you want, 'Daddy'?"

" _Shit!_ "

Robert was _not_ prepared for that boner-trigger-word, not tumbling from Joseph's kiss-swollen lips, in that singsong-sweet phone sex operator-worthy voice; Robert was _absolutely_ not prepared for Joseph's hand on his inner thigh, either, nor was he prepared for Joseph's knuckles to brush against his fly, while quite obviously― and audibly― unzipping his own. 

With his heart in his throat, Robert slammed his heel onto the brake pedal, half-terrified that he was about to swerve off of a barely-lit, middle-of-bum-fuck-nowhere road and into one of the surrounding bottomless ditches all thanks to the fact that his dick had long since been cursed by one Joseph Christiansen.

'Shit' was _totally_ the understatement of the century, but Robert was too drunk to even come up with a superior shocked, 'holy-fuck-we-could-have- _died,_ -you-whore' exclamation, as sad as that may have seemed.

Which was, in all honesty, _very_ sad.

"... Did you just almost crash?" Joseph asked, visibly shaken, perfect head of too-pretty blond locks mussed and Robert knew well enough that wasn't entirely from the sudden jerkiness of the car ride― he _had_ had his head in Robert's lap, not all that long ago, after all. "Robert, did we almost _die_ , just now? _Really_?"

Robert loosened his grip, white-knuckling the steering wheel as he slowly, shakily reached for the ignition, turning the car off and casting both he and his passenger into near-total darkness. "I was... just making sure the brakes were in working order, s'all."

Joseph rolled his eyes, "So you _meant_ to do that."

" _Ab_ solutely."

Before he had time to explain that borderline-crash any further, Joseph's fingers snaked into Robert's hair, gripping tight enough to make Robert's entire skull ache. "I guess I'll just have to assume this is your idea of a 'rest stop', then," Joseph growled, forcing Robert's head downward as he pulled his cock from the confines of his briefs. "Not the most _sanitary_ place to piss, if you ask me, but― beggars can't be choosers, can they? Open your mouth, Robert." 

Holy.

Fucking.

 _Balls_.

This was― this was _not_ happening―... was it?

"Joseph, hey―"

As Joseph shoved unforgiving fingers between Robert's teeth, Robert's blurred vision righted itself for long enough that the dollop of piss atop the flushed head of Joseph's dick became glaringly obvious, and Robert would sooner die than admit the way the sight made his mouth water.

"Mouth. Open. _Now_."

Robert complied as much as he could, sobering up one hell of a lot as soon as Joseph let out a moan of relief, a steady stream of piss erupting against Robert's stubble, before Joseph managed to re-position it to spray directly down his lover's throat. Oh, _fuck_ , it was so strong― he really _had_ been holding it in for a long time, hadn't he? Robert's eyes watered almost immediately, closing his mouth around Joseph's pretty pink cock-head as he drank down the man's piss. 

"Good," Joseph said, a smirk audible in his voice, planting one of his feet against the dashboard as he all but forced Robert to take his dick in further, tickling up against the back of Robert's throat 'til it hurt. " _There's_  a good boy; _God_ , Robert, just look at you. You're a _pro_."

The sound that escaped Robert's throat made his entire face burn hot in embarrassment, burying his hands in the fabric of Joseph's khakis as he sucked, sucked and swallowed and _drank_ , like a parched man faced with an oasis.

"Drink up, 'Daddy'― it's only fair if I pay you back for all those fruity drinks you bought me tonight, isn't it? _Mm_ ― yeah, that's right. That's what I guessed you _really_ wanted; why you weren't letting me get out of the truck to relieve myself in a bush, like any normal person would. You're just so _greedy_ , aren't you, Robert?"

Yeah― _yeah_ , whatever; so _what_ if he was greedy?

Who _wouldn't_ be, with a grade-A slut like Joseph Christiansen in their pick-up, in the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere? 

Maybe better, _stronger_ men could resist the 'siren's call'― maybe.

Oh well.

Robert hadn't ever been much into displays of one-time selflessness, anyway, and, God, was he ever  _thirsty_. 

[END]

**Author's Note:**

> written for a porny DDADDS drabbles request on my twitter! eeeeyyyyyy 
> 
> [ [twitter](https://twitter.com/heatvisions) / [nsfw twitter](https://twitter.com/DREADWOLFKNOT) ]


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